Critical investigation learner response

On your MEST4 coursework blog, complete the following tasks:

1. Type up your teacher comments from your first draft.
2. Write what mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.
3. Write a numbered list of five things you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.

Teacher feedback:

WWW: Good clear introduction with range of key concepts used,

EBI: Dont use 'I' in your essay shorten paragraphs. Font size (Too big in bibliography). Book references and use queer theory.

My feedback:

WWW:

-The relationship between Midnigter and LGBT discussed clearly 

-Uses and gratification used as for example the discussion of person relation being made and by blog comments showing the communication about the character.

-Good use of the Guardian being shown as to example of LGBT not being accepted by people in America as to the murders happening. 

EBI:

-Need better starting quote to do with Midnighter and LGBT.

-Quotes need be used in areas such as when mentioning interviews and from different blogs.

-More info on the LGBT genre outside the life of comic books for example films and reality if there is enough of it.

-Depth with History context as to why is Batman and Joker is conveyed to be lovers in the Killing joke.

-Negative views on LGBT as its not greatly being moved forward as to riots and protest against it.

- Examples need be used more in my critical investigation as I give information and a link but I do not go depth with how it is shown and how it is referenced to the main title.

- Male gaze and female gaze needs to be used more as the look of fans because Midnighter has its gay fan base and also there is fan fiction on-line where it can be explained.

-Book references needed looking into the LGBT genre.

-Structure the paragraphs better when changing the topic as in the transition of when I explain the Guardian article of the two murders to Andrew Garfield wanting Spiderman to be Pansexual.

Write what mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft

30 out of 48 Grade C

Marks I am aiming for is 40 out of 48

A is the grade I am aiming for with the critical investigation 

5 things that should be changed:

1. Add more book references and theory (Representation, Audience and stereotypes) 

2. Shorter paragraphs (Done)

3. Structure should link when changing the topic to make sense.(Done)

4. More depth in the historical text of the killing Joke and how Batman and Joker are shown as lovers (Done)

5. In depth analysis as to why a text would say this and what it represents